


About Tiptree

by zolanhras



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Gen, friends that help each other out, grief and anger
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-24 13:50:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13215084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zolanhras/pseuds/zolanhras
Summary: She closed her eyes for a moment, selfish, she knew, but she couldn’t look to see what she knew would be there. She couldn’t watch the same set of emotions flicker on someone’s face.She had had to do tasks like these more than once, tell a family that their son or daughter had ‘fought bravely’ and was a ‘true hero’.They always were.





	About Tiptree

The elevator music chimed, unaware, as always, of the feelings of it’s passengers. Like right now, how Shepard was feeling sick and wished she’d gone to that hanar massage place that Kaidan suggested.

She wasn’t ever this nervous before a mission. Even the Collector Base. The adrenaline helped, sure, so did the fact that she could die at any minute. She wrung her hands, noticed, and stopped.

She had asked the asari to recount her story twice, much to the displeasure of her psychiatrist. She felt a twinge of guilt for bringing back those memories, but if she was going tell a brother and a son that his family didn’t make it… It was worth a little extra confirmation. She had even gone to the asari ambassador and asked to look over their mission records for the colony, and cross referenced with the human embassies info.

It was definite. Hilary ‘Gunny’ Moreau and Michael Moreau had both perished on Tiptree due to Reaper forces. Hilary had even lived to see more of it than a girl of her age should have.

She entered the decontamination chamber, feeling more electricity flow throw her than usual. Biotics and decon chambers didn’t mesh as well together as engineers would’ve liked, but it was manageable. But as the shock rolled through her, she couldn’t help but think that is was the Normandy trying to protect her pilot from Shepard’s news.

“Commander on deck!” Joker shouted, turning to face her. “How were the shiny lights of the city, Shepard? Anything new and _exciting?_ ”

He looked up at her, and she remembered the first time she had seen the Citadel, out of the window in the cockpit. Joker had never stopped teasing her about it, electing to bring it up every time they docked.

She usually rolled her eyes, or gave a slapstick remark, but she couldn’t manage the effort. She just stared at him, words not coming to her lips.

“Commander?” EDI asked, having turned to face her as well. “Are you feeling well?”

Her throat felt like sandpaper. “Fine, EDI,” she said, and even she could hear her lie. “Joker, could you come with me, please?”

Joker’s eyes widened. She chad only asked him to leave the bridge a couple of times, at least on duty. None of them had ever been good.

“Uh, yes— yes, Commander.”

She waited as he stood up, and matched his pace, leading them across the CIC and into the elevator. While going, he got a few smarts remarks from the rest of the flight crew, and he smirked and replied as if he hadn’t a care in the world.

That would work on them, to those who knew him as Joker. Shepard knew him well enough to call him Jeff, and she saw his apprehension. It was in the edges of his quips, the little things wrong where the sarcastic ass twinkle in his eyes should be.

They rode to her cabin in uncomfortable silence, neither one knowing how to break it. Instead they just looked at their shoes, and holding their breath until the elevator chimed and opened as slowly as it ever had.

When they finally reached her cabin, she walked in ahead of him and waved for him to sit down on the couch. He obliged, but she didn’t miss the worried look. Sitting down in your boss’ office was never a good sign.

As for her, she couldn’t sit. She paced for a moment, trying desperately to think of what to say. She never did come up with a good opening, or middle for that matter.

“Uh, Shepard, you’re scaring me,” Joker said, tapping his fingers on the table.

“I apologize.” Wow, so formal. Where had that come from? She exhaled.

“What I mean to say is—Jeff, I’m so, so sorry,” she said, forcing himself to look him in the eyes, and her tongue knowingly formed the words.“I’ve received news about Tiptree.”

“What? What do you—what?”

She closed her eyes for a moment, selfish, she knew, but she couldn’t look to see what she knew would be there. She couldn’t watch the same set of emotions flicker on someone’s face.

She had had to do tasks like these more than once, tell a family that their son or daughter had ‘fought bravely’ and was a ‘true hero’.

They always were.

She had never done _this_. Tell a soldier that he didn’t have a home to go back to, or anyone for that matter.

When she looked up, Joker was staring at the floor, hands on both sides of his head, cap of his hat blocking his face from view. He didn’t speak for a long time.

“—Gunny—Did she? Is she—“ Joker looked up at her, his green eyes red rimmed.

She didn’t have to answer. He buried his face in his hands and wept, sobs coming out muffled through his fingers. Joker had been on her team for years, and she could count on one hand the number of times she had seen him cry.

She sat down beside him, and lightly stroked his back, not knowing what else to do. He continued for a while, heaves becoming less frequent until he was taking deep breathes.

He sniffled, head still in his hands, but there was a familiar set in his jaw.

“Tell me everything.”

For a moment she considered lying. Wouldn’t it be kinder, to be spared the hard details? To live knowing, at least that they had died in peace?

She glanced over at him, head in his hands, lower than she could ever remember him being and the words sprung to mind, just waiting to offer him some measure of peace.

But, she couldn’t do it. In his place, she would want to know everything. _Everything._ No matter how painful. Like how she demanded to know the names of every crew member that died. That died and did not come back. Unlike her.

No, she wouldn’t lie.

Shepard ground her teeth, but began.

“I was walking out of the elevator to see Kaidan in Huerta. I stopped for a minute to see Jacob, but ended up overhearing a conversation between two asari. Long story short, she mentioned Tiptree. I knew your family was stationed there, and if I could just find out if they were alright, then maybe— Maybe something would go right for once.

“She told me of how they had received reports of reapers rolling in and how her squad was sent in to defend the human colonist. Everything was going well, they had run into little resistance. They eventually ran into some farmers. Along with them, a young teenage girl.”

Joker hands closed tighter around his face, and Shepard had a fleeting impulse to take her hand off his back, as if she were a guilty party here. Dismissing it, she continued.

“Having trekked through rough terrain for a while, they were understandably dirty. She said the girl took their things and set-up her room for them, and even showed them to a hot shower.”

“Gunny would do that,” Joker said bitterly, but he straightened up and looked at her with a mix of rage and despair sketched in his features.

Shepard swallowed, remembering where she was. “The asari grew comfortable, and had left her gun in her pack while she showered, and that’s when they were attacked.

“Her partner, Neira, had been indoctrinated and turned into a banshee. Along with her, a horde of husks. Aeian grabbed what she could and fled, along with Hilary.

“They survived on scraps in the hills for a couple of days, but they couldn’t hold out much longer. Aeian decided the only chance they had was to retrieve the radio she left at the farm and signal for help.

“When they arrived, they found the remaining farmers being held captive in the house. Hilary freed them, but they were indoctrinated. They alerted the husks. Apparently, Hilary had even stuck some of the husks with a stick, taking several down. But, eventually Aeian used her biotics to carve a way out. But on the way, Hilary, she—Jeff, I can stop.”

He had begun crying again, but the tears were silent this time. No sniffling came and his eyes didn’t well up like before. They just slid down his face.

“No, I need to know.”

“Hilary’s leg had been broken in the rush to escape. They made it to a shed or some barn-like structure, but they had to keep quiet. Hilary—her broken leg— She couldn’t keep quiet. So, Aeian, she had to—”

Shepard hadn’t realized she was crying until just now. She cleared her throat.

“Aeian shot her. I’m so sorry, Jeff.”

Joker scoffed. “Right. _”_

Shepard wiped the wetness off her cheeks. “What?”

He scooted away from her, and her touch.

“Like you wouldn’t have made that call.” he sneered, cheeks still not dry. “All you exist for is the war now. I’m sure the asari came back with intel. I’m right, aren’t I?” he said.

“Why didn’t you just leave well enough alone? You had to hear out the damn asari’s story and— and—”

He collapsed again, folding in on himself.

“Jeff, I never meant to hurt you.” she said, rubbing her forearm. “I just didn’t want to keep you in the dark. I hope you would do the same for me.”

She went to stand, thinking to give him some privacy for his grief. God knows they all needed that. She stood up.

“Did you know she wanted to be a pilot?” he said, making her pause. “‘Just like you,’ she said. ‘Actually, not like you. Better. Then you’ll actually have someone to kick your butt. You need that.’”

He laughed softly.

“I wish I could’ve met her.” she said.

“She would’ve loved that,” he said, chuckling. “You should’ve seen her when I told her I had been assigned to the Normandy, the XO being Commander Shepard herself. You were a celebrity to her.”

He smiled sadly, and she could see the grief beginning to wash over him again.

She sat back down. “Tell me about her.”

He hesitated a moment, teetering on the knife’s edge, before releasing his breath.

“Umm, okay… Oh! When she was eleven, I finally come let her watch me fly…”


End file.
